Sexuality

So recently, a few things reminded me today of a situation that happened to me when I was in middle school. I told a guy I knew that I was bisexual. Though at the time, I was pretty unsure of what I really felt regarding my sexuality. All I knew is that I had a hard time differentiating between friendship and being in a romantic relationship, due to the fact that I hadn't experienced physical love yet.

So anyways, this guy reacted rudely and made fun of me before telling my aunt what I had told him. My aunt then throttled me with questions like "Do you like women sexually?" or "Do you want to touch them?"
Now, I was really insecure at the time and her reaction frightened me to the point of tears, so all I could do was deny what I said.

Now that I'm older, I've figured out a lot more about my feelings and the differences between love and lust. I realize now that the questions my aunt asked have no relevance to whether or not I was actually bisexual. To want to have sex with another woman does not mean you are a lesbian. There are many straight women who have had sex with other women simply for physical pleasure. That's called bi-curious which means to have an interest in being physical with either sex. However, if you ever have real feelings for that person, the scenario is greatly changed.

Having sex with somebody does not always mean that you love them. We see it all the time with straight people; Men and women sleeping around with people they don't have any emotional interest in. It would be the same situation, even if it was between two women or two men who don't love each other. That action alone does not define their sexuality. It's the personal bond they feel with that person that determines the truth.

Anyhow, I know I wasn't just confused back then because my feelings haven't changed. I can still feel attracted to both sexes equally, though I've never had a relationship with another woman simply because there was never someone interested enough in me or I didn't take enough of an interest in them. Everyone's got a type. Honestly, I think there was only one female friend I had who I was possessive and protective of enough to assume I was probably in love with her. I just didn't realize it then, until she had disappeared from my life altogether.

These are the thoughts I had today...